So it begins…

Picture a young man, slender, 6’1”, quiet and extremely hairy. Despite my appearance and lack of social skills, there were several occasions I was the talk of my high school. All the folks around me could easily be placed in their respective cliques, associations, or fads, yet I…I was something of a mystery to them. I was told countless times that people had a hard time getting a read on me, yet few of them bothered to try and find out.

The point is rather moot when I think back on it, as I was something of a mystery even to myself. How could I ask anyone to attempt to understand me when I kept so much of myself secret? All they saw was a long-haired, bearded, black-clad, leather-jacket-wearing, biker boots kid who kept to himself. If you can’t tell by the photo, I’m a metal head. There I am, all sixteen years of me, in my band at a high school battle of the bands. The suspense is mounting, so I’ll just clue you in: we didn’t win.

Inside that rough exterior was the hidden shit, the stuff my close group of friends knew and few others. It was a time when letting people know you played video games intensively and actively watched shows like The X-Files and Star Trek was something of a brave admission. People didn’t take kindly to us in the 90s and early aughts. Look at me! I already looked like (and was) an outsider. Did I really need to give my peers more ammunition? No. The whole truth of it is that I truly didn’t care one way or the other what anyone thought by that point in my life, but years of verbal assaults had me instinctively keeping my cards close to my chest.

During high school I imagined myself leading a life playing bass (at this point I was singing only, but I still played) in a metal band. I didn’t care how it happened, I just imagined being on stage for the rest of my life. The irony of dreaming of the spotlight and ending up in a basement behind a microphone is not lost on me. What made the change? I would say full acceptance of myself since then. I’m still a bass player, but not THE bass player. I love to show off, but I’m not the center of attention. My true passions were the things I was keeping so close to my chest, which is probably the real reason why I so fervently protected them from ridicule. I have come to realize that I must’ve still cared what they thought in some respect, so I still guarded my complete self.

Now, verging on the big 4-0, I sit here in the infancy of my newest venture and truest passion: podcasting about the things I’ve always loved and never tire of. The spotlight is still there, but it’s a different kind. I’m actually creating theater with friends and together we bring people together and hopefully a sense of belonging. I hope anyone who stops by enjoys their stay, laughs at the jokes and finds it a place to be themselves with us. We’re working on building a community of our own like-minded degenerates.